Nooks and Crannies

I've been learning a lot from Mark Zwahl at Close in Coaching. Check out Mark's blog with lots of helpful posts every week. This post below is a reprint from my ClothGirl blog from April 16, 2012. It holds a lot of meaning to me just now.

I've been finding little places where I want to hang on to control...in life...in art, there always seems to be a mirror there. Those "hanging on" places, I see them and then say, "Yep there it is, how interesting, now Let go." Giving up control, its ok, you can get it back later if you really need. Giving up sacred cows, its ok, they are a dime a dozen, you can always get another one. (insert laughter) I have been going through, "Life, Paint, Passion," bit by bit, a little every couple days, and I love what Stewart says about control. When you are painting and not trying to control, there is more energy, you feel connected, you feel on fire, you can afford to risk taking a leap. And in the end, it leads you to a bigger space, in art... in life too... The more I think I've gotten good at letting go, the more I find the little nooks and crannies. Oh, there's another one, and oh, there it goes again. We can choose to see control for the trickster it is. We can choose what we're willing to keep and carry around, and what we don't have to hold. Vitality is the reward for letting go of control; a bigger space, a room of one's own. And besides, the parts of the painting where I wasn't trying to control, they hold more delight.

myth of control

I have been knitting more than
"making art" lately.

As I have been trying to let more sensory awareness happen in my art making, just gently letting the subconscious drift up to consciousness, I noticed all my feelings about the things in life that are out of my control, which are many right now, make it hard to let go into something creative that might be out of my conscious control as well.

(Ok guys, ou can skip the past the knitting part to the last paragraph) I think that is why knitting is so appealing right now. It seems that while it is a fairly left brain activity (linear, stitches, etc.) it also puts that same part to sleep with its repetition. It feels like a nap or sometimes a meditation. My study group facilitator said that she attempts to “knit with attention” (my words) that she stays aware of her body, her position, hands, feet, is she holding tension somewhere in her body. She said she applies the same “rules” of process painting, sensing what color is calling to her most, not pulling out stitches when she has made a “mistake”. So now I try to notice if I am a million miles away, and ask, where are my feet? Are they cold, hot, comfy, squished? What do I notice about the yarn? Am I tensing my right shoulder?

I have started a pair of wrist warmers with a silk wool blend that is soft and nicely colorful. I am using a periwinkle and spring green along with snatches of other colors. They were the colors that were calling me this week. That green just wants to happen in my soul and the light periwinkle is very soothing and balances the brite green. I think the periwinkle looks like the sky in one of my paintings. I am also in love with my bamboo knitting needles. They feel like they have a “feng shui” to them. I am not sure what bamboo is, is it wood? For that matter what is wool/silk yarn? But anyway, they feel right in my hands, comforting and grounding. They have a softer click and a “warmer” feel than the metal ones.

There are just times when knitting is what I need to balance the emotional and physical demands of the week. What I do when I can't dive into the uncontrollable malestrom. But then I feel the pull to something more and still want to gently stretch into: -is there a way to make art that expresses uncomfortable feelings but doesn't swamp me with overload, when life is already overloaded right now. (end knitting discussion!! you guys can start reading again.)

This picture above is where I'd like to be right now to get away from winter....

I'd love to hear your experiences with the process of creativity and any times you have felt blocked or too busy to slip into your creative self, and also what happened to help you get back to it.